Возраст... уже "снаряды рядом рвутся" (с) Когда бежишь-спасаешься, уже не до размышлений о ерунде.
Кстати, погуглите "Demand Resistance". Если жизнь отнимает контроль в одной области (работу пришлось бросить, ребенка пришлось родить), можно отыграться в другой (авотфиг я брошу курить, не заставите, а вот я был, есть, и буду есть, и т.д.) Но отыгрываться на глупых мелочах - это тоже само-саботаж.
"Ironically, when we resist requests from others we are usually the only one to suffer. For example, if you don't follow through an assignment from your boss, you may "win the battle" (not feeling controlled) but "lose the war (your job promotion). Still, you resent doing it and often are compelled to resist.
When you were younger did you procrastinate or “resist” finishing homework assignments at school?
Did your parents constantly tell you what to do and how to do it?
When someone asks you to do something, do you feel tense or resentful?
Do you have trouble with authority figures?
Do you have difficulty finishing tasks that are asked of you?
Do you make a to-do list and then never look at it the next day? "